I must admit I might have a small problem with authority. This rebellious attitude does not reflect my feelings towards all authority, just ones that I dont agree with. This mind set has put me in some interesting situations; illegal parking stickers on my car (hey, why cant I park there?), reports from some of my early school year teachers for having too much opinion (no seriously, this happened in 7th grade, parent/teacher conference and all) and lately my most common disapproval has come in the form of strange looks every time I switch up my hair between weaves/wigs that I rock and my natural hair.
I have some pretty strong opinions about hair as many other women of African descent. Sometimes we agree and sometimes we don't. I do see one repeating source of disagreement amongst myself and my African sisters; the allowance that is allotted to switch up my hair as I please. I refuse to have to pick a side or dare I say box. I am the natural 'soul sista" but I am also the "weavelicious diva". I embrace that complexity of self, unapologetically.
I love weave! Yes, I love the freedom that it permits to experiment with different styles, colors and trends. I am however, not a slave to it like many women that I know. As the prices of this commodity continue to rise, it saddens me to see women around me struggle and/or spend thousands of dollars to make the Indian hair purchase happen. This desperation to continue purchasing consistently is often out of fear of actually rocking ones real hair in its natural form. This self imposed prison and commitment to weave is peculiar to me.
It broke my heart to hear an associate of mine say, 'I just dont feel fly without my weave." I have said this controversial statement before and I shall repeat. The moment that you cannot look at yourself in your natural state; no weave, no fake nails, no contacts, fake eyelashes, etc and feel beautiful, you have a mental issue that you might want to get checked out. This is the heart of self loathing that can easily spread to other parts of your self esteem and overall productivity in life.
There is a whole business dedicated to making women feel inadequate in their self. Check out the billion dollar beauty industry. I refuse to be a victim, although I have been pressured by managers, publicists and producers of all sorts to pick a look (usually one that involves a weave) and stick to it as someone in the entertainment industry.
I find that my carefree attitude towards my switch between weaves/wigs and my natural hair shocks and even makes some people around me uncomfortable. I have been told multiple times that if I was serious about pursuing any career in front of the camera I need to pick a style and stick to it. Ok, the purely logical part of me can understand that my hair switch up could make me difficult to identify, which could be an issue as I establish my brand. However, there are many other ways that I can brand myself outside of my hair. Also, it is very important to me that my brand represents something much bigger than the dead cells or hair that is not mine on my head.
I love Ms. Badu and she embodies the freedom that can be attained in the entertainment industry from such physical pressures. Years before she truly freed herself in her controversial “Window Seat” video, she inspired me with her hair strip tease in the documentary film, Dave Chappelle’s Block Party.
In the midst of Erykah’s performance she flings off the wig that is being challenged by the New York wind and hindering her performance only to reveal her short hair underneath. I love this moment. It represents Erykah’s priorities and dedication to her performance as an artist as well as her challenge to all systems that pretty much demand that women never be seen out of “character” which often involves artificial additives like hair.
As I love weave I also love my natural locks that I’ve been growing for a little over a year since my last chop friendly session. I wear whichever one I am in the mood for on any given day. If I’m rocking a big Foxy Brown inspired afro one day and my short caramel dipped locks the next day; the jig is up, that was a wig and I’m ok with you knowing that. This reality is one of the most freeing ones of my life and I invite you all to join my liberation. Throw out the rule book! The only good hair is healthy hair that does not compromise your health physically, mentally and/or emotionally.
My message here is to love YOU with and without artificial additions. Life’s too short to live in fear and as my Mommy says if you live in fear you might as well die. So do you and just remember to be your best because being a mess is just not an option.
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